Self, you need to lighten up a bit. Learn to have a bit more enjoyment in your life. While you certainly have some great standards, and principles, you also need to learn that not everything needs to be taken so seriously.
You've got some good goals in life, and you really should keep exerting yourself, stretching out to reach them. But, don't let the negative things define who you are. Keep doing the things you do, but don't forget to have a little fun along the way.
Since you are trying to follow the pattern that Christ Jesus left for us, don't forget that even he made some time for a bit of relaxation, and enjoying nature and his close friends. Remember, he even made wine for diners at a wedding party for friends.
Trees give a bit when blasted by strong winds, and if you try to restrain them too much, they will break. They need to have a certain amount of flexibility, or they will snap and splinter like a rigid sign post in high winds.
I know you weren't even supposed to live long enough to grow up, but you're nearly there, and even though you will have lingering health issues for your whole life, you don't need to be ready for death at every turn, or be concerned about looking forward to a full life along the way. By the way, stop sleeping in that casket position, like your are already a corpse. Maybe that made sense to to when you were six, but now it's time to loosen up, don't you think?
You like helping others, and you love animals, and that's great, keep it up, just do a bit more to expand your own horizons, too.
Never lose sight of your efforts to win the race, but do stop and smell the flowers along the way.