Sunday, July 31, 2011

Can You Say, "I'm Sorry?"

So Sorry, Boss
What makes some people, people who are usually nice, and thoughtful, be unable, or unwilling to apologize when they may say or do something that hurts someone who really cares for them, such as their spouse, or a family member, or even a friend, for that matter?

I know several people who fit into that category.  Some are even family members.  It's like they think it shows weakness, and imperfection to have to admit they goofed, or said something hurtful.

Actually, if you think about it, it takes a stronger person to admit their mistakes, don't you think?  It means you have to actually look into yourself and realize you are not perfect, no matter what facade you may show outwardly.  My late husband, while basically a good man, just could not bring himself so say he was sorry for anything he did, in more than the twenty-six years we were married.  I also know other people who have that same problem.  I know they both had a difficult childhood, but that doesn't mean they shouldn't break through that self-protective armor and let their friends see that they have a heart, too.  Does it?

Ahhh, Ain't Love Grand?
Some people say. "Love means you never have to say you're sorry."  That is factually, morally and actually exactly reverse of what love is all about.  Love should not hurt.  Saying hurtful things to someone who you love, is something most people do from time to time, possible in the heat of a disagreement.  But, when we take the feelings of our closest partner, and most loved person in our life into consideration, should we not really, lovingly say we are truly sorry for offending them.  Did we really mean it?  Things like this are reasons why people who once dearly loved someone, become more and more distant, growing farther and farther apart.  Instead of showing more consideration to strangers or workmates, that belongs to our spouse, our partner, or other half.

If a policeman pulls you over for speeding or failure to stop completely at a stop sign, wouldn't you say something like, "Sorry officer?"  Doesn't your spouse or another family member deserve at least that much consideration as well, or even more-so?

Is your ego worth losing a dear and trusted friend over, simply to save face?  Personally, I don't think it is.  To me, it's natural to say, "I'm so sorry," if I accidentally do or say something that offended someone, no matter who it was.  That is only good manners, and shows consideration for the injured party.
Showing Love and Caring
is important in any

Do you know what I once did accidentally?  It was about nine-thirty in the evening, and I was very tired, but needed to go to a local store which was still open.  I got there just fine, but I was distracted by something.  The parking lot had been virtually empty, except for employee's cars parked some way from the store.  Thankfully, I wasn't going very fast, or I would have hit someone in the driver's door.  I jammed on the brakes, and quickly parked.  Then, I jumped out of my SUV, and hurried over to the other driver's nice pickup, crew cab truck to tell him I was terribly sorry that I nearly hit him.

The man was very nice, and said he really appreciated me taking the time and caring enough to come over to say I was sorry.  Guess who it was that I nearly T-Boned?  He's a famous singer/performer.  He also had his young daughter in the truck with him.  They had just driven in from Las Vegas, and were stopping to get a few things on their way home.  I won't give his name, because he lives not very far from me, and I wouldn't want to give that away.


  1. Helen,Helen,Helen...please tell me one day you'll publish your words of great wisdom in a book.
    You have an anecdote for every situation! I like that! Means you are a woman of deep thought and caring...have a beautiful day!

  2. Susan, you are such a sweet lady, and a good friend, whose encouragement I certainly appreciate. You've got to be kidding. ???