Monday, November 29, 2010

Roommates-Friends-Marriage Mates?

Never have I ever had an actual roommate per say.  When it's family, it is to be expected that there will be good times and bad ones, as well.  Most people readily make necessary adjustments in such cases, don't they?  After all, it's family.  You just put up with it or leave yourself.

While you may change roommates, it is a little more of a longstanding agreement when you are married, and even more-so when children come on the scene.

It seems that many if not most people are willing to make adjustments for a friend or roommate than they would for a family member, such as a brother or sister, a parent, or more specifically for a spouse. Maybe it's because the roommate is paying their share of the rent and utilities?

A spouse especially should certainly get more appreciation and respect than anyone else, don't you think?  After all, you and they have both promised to love, honor and cherish one another, "until death do your part." Remember?  Or did you really mean that until you have issues, or that until things get a little bit hard to deal with, or adjust to?

Most people don't even consider whether or not they will be compatible with whomever they choose to marry.  That is one thing that just doesn't seem to cross their mind.  If you just think about it, this is the person with whom you are making a covenant to spend the rest of your life.  Don't you think it would be wise to consider if you two will be more compatible for other joint activities other than the obvious sex.
Sure, you may have many of the same interests, or not.  You may like the same type of movies, but what about things that you and your partner may like that the other doesn't like, or that they even can't stand?

Simple things such as the toothpaste being left open or being squeezed differently than you do it, or maybe they don't hand the hand towel up evenly or straight enough to suit you; These things can begin to grate on people's nerves, and they can actually become obsessed over such trivial things.

Neatnik or a Slob?
As life goes on, you will wake up one day, and discover this person has many different likes and dislikes that differ from yours, as well as the other way around.  After all, no one's perfect.  Have you considered how many things you do that may drive your spouse crazy, too?

They say that opposites attract, and maybe that's so, at lease some of the time.  But, many times those differences can become things we may grow to hate.

Life gives us things to adjust to all the time, and somehow we manage to do so.  So, why not make more room for our spouses idiosyncrasies?  We will be better people if we do, and unless they are breaking the law or committing adultery, it probably isn't really harmful to you or anyone else. I'm not talking about someone who may have a drinking problem or smokes and is causing harm to you or your children, just the little things that get on peoples nerves.

No comments:

Post a Comment