Welcome to Kulula Airlines

This is one of the most hilarious e-mails, EVER.... would love to fly with this bunch of  loonies.

  Kulula is a low-cost South-African airline that doesn't take itself too seriously.  Check out their new livery!  And read about their Customer Relations:









































WHAT A PITY KULULA DOESN'T FLY INTERNATIONALLY - WE SHOULD SUPPORT THEM IF ONLY FOR THEIR HUMOUR - SO TYPICALLY SOUTH AFRICAN.




Kulula is an Airline with head office situated in Johannesburg.  Kulula airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety lecture" and announcements a bit more entertaining. 

Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: 


On a Kulula flight  (there is no assigned seating, you just sit where you want), passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced, 
"People, people, we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!"

§  

 

On one flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said,
 "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights.  This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."



§   On landing, the stewardess said,
 "Please be sure to take all of your belongings... If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's

something we'd like to have."

§  

"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane." 



§  Thank you for flying Kulula. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."

§  As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Durban Airport , a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: 
"Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"

§  After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in the Karoo , a flight attendant on a flight announced, 
"Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."



§  From a Kulula employee: 
 "Welcome aboard Kulula 271 to Port Elizabeth . To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."



§  

"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling.  Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite."

§  

"Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Kulula Airlines."

§  

"Your seats cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."

§  As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.."



§  And from the pilot during his welcome message:
 "Kulula Airlines is pleased to announce that we have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"

§  Heard on Kulula 255 just after a very hard landing in Cape Town: The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, 
"That was quite a bump and I know what y'all are thinking.  I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt."



§  Overheard on a Kulula flight into Cape Town , on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain really had to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said,
 "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to The Mother City.  Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"



§  Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."

-

§  An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying our airline."  He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said,
 "Sir, do you mind if I ask you  a question?" 
"Why, no Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?" 
The little old lady said, 
"Did we land, or were we shot down?"

This Way Up?  Yeppers

 §  After a real crusher of a landing in Johannesburg , the attendant came on with, 
"Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we will open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal.."

§  Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement:
 "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today.. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of Kulula Airways."



§  Heard on a Kulula flight:
 "Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish so smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing.. If you can light 'em, you can smoke 'em."

If anyone reading this has some interesting or more funny stories or experiences to share from personal experience, I would really appreciate your sharing a comment with me, so I can add it to the story from others who have flown Kulula Airlines. - PK Hawk

Dusty and Evelyn

Dusty

Dusty was a nine-year-old red roan Appaloosa mare, that was being taken from the place where she grew up, and matured and was trained. She had become quite the gymkhana horse.  Sue, Dusty’s owner was leaving for college, and there was no one else that felt qualified to ride this powerful, gymkhana-trained mare.  She was being sold to a woman named Jean who lived out of the area she knew, and away from everyone and all the other animals where she had always felt so secure.

Now Dusty was going into the Inland Valley of Riverside County, California.   Sue, was practically the only person who ever rode Dusty,...

For the rest of the story, please click on the link below...

Dusty and Evelyn, continued...

A Sailor's Tale - A Poem

SHIPS AT SEA

Ships at sea, whipping white sails,

Hushed seas, beckoning shores

Beseeching, calling, whispering wails

Promising adventure in store

See the seven seas and swim with sharks,

Sea shells, slow moving sea snails

Search out undersea parks

Swim with dolphins, dive for shells

Such smooth seas, incoming storms

Slipping, tossing easily shifting sailboats

Boasting sailing ships, tall sails now taken down

Some speeding steadily southward

Click here to read the rest of the poem:  A Sailor's Tale/Ships At Sea

By: PK Hawk©

Curtis, Leroy and the Mule

Curtis & Leroy saw an ad in the Starkville Daily in Starkville, MS and bought a mule for $100.  
The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day.
 

The next morning the farmer drove up and said, “Sorry, fellows, I have some bad news, the mule died last night.” 


Curtis &Leroy replied, “Well, then just give us our money back.” 


The farmer said,  “Can't do that.  I went and spent it already.” 


They said, “OK then, just bring us the dead mule.”  


The farmer asked, “What in the world ya'll gonna do with a dead mule?” 
 

Curtis said, “We gonna raffle him off.”  


The farmer said, “You can't raffle off a dead mule!”  


Leroy said, “We shore can! Heck, we don't hafta tell nobody he's dead!”  


A couple of weeks later, the farmer ran into Curtis & Leroy at the Piggly Wiggly grocery store and asked, "What'd you fellers ever do with that dead mule?" 


They said, “We raffled him off like we said we wuz gonna do.”    

Leroy said, “Shucks, we sold 500 tickets fer two dollars apiece and made a profit of $898.”
 

The farmer said, “My Lord, didn't anyone complain?”  


Curtis said, “Well, the feller who won got upset. So we gave him his two dollars back.”

 


Curtis and Leroy now work for the government.
 

They're overseeing the Bailout Program:  
Limit all US politicians to two Terms.
..  One in office & One in prison.

Author Unknown

Cool Cars I Have Owned and Driven

Cool Wheels Anyone?

Over the last fifty years of driving, I have had many sets of wheels. Some not so wonderful, and others that could make my heart go pitter patter. Personally, I like muscle cars, four-wheel drives with mighty V-8 engines that can leave everyone else in the dust. I love driving winding mountain roads, driving in sand and even mud, challenging my abilities, as well as my wheels. It's somewhat as if my vehicle has become my horse. Heaving ribs while they draw in deep breaths, and have their head out in a straight line with their body, and tail. 


Oh yes, which vehicle did I like best? This is really difficult to answer, as I very seldom have had a vehicle I did not particularly care for. My first one was a 1950 Dodge, Coronet, 2 door. It was a dark metalic green, with a semi-automatic transmission, a wood grained dash board, and a glass packed muffler. The gear shift was chrome, with the overdrive button on the end.  It had quite a bit to power for a straight line 6 cylinder car. 


My second car was one I really did not want, as it had to replace my cherished 1950 Dodge when it finally was in desperate need of a complete overhaul. I remember begging my dad not to sell my wheels, and I didn't want a different car. But, one day, he showed up with my first 1955 Ponitac 4 door sedan, two-toned green, and I hated it, but it did get me to where I needed or wanted to go. I think it could have also been in better mechanical condition. This one had a large V-8 engine, and was fully automatic. 


I only had that car for a few months, when some not too bright teenaged boys totaled it, while it was parked on the street in front of the home of a lady and her husband we were visiting. Their tie-rod snapped as they drove too fast over some dips in the intersections in a residential neighborhood. They hit my car so hard, that it split the gas tank, spilling almost an entire 20 gallons of fuel all over the place. It was a miracle that the whole place didn't go up in smoke. They pushed my car two houses down the street, and up over the curb, barely missing a large tree in the parkway. 

Big V-8 Dodge Pickup

My third car was another 1955 Pontiac 4-door. But, this one was "real cherry," as they say. It was in perfect condition, painted a spectacular "ice blue metalic, with seven coats of lacquer." 


Since then, of course many cars and trucks have come and gone in my life. There was this really cool white 1982 Chevy Berlinetta, with really deep royal blue interior. That car was also a real pleasure to drive, and I loved driving it through the mountains between the Inland Empire and the coastal cities. Funny, but when I showed up at my office in my Berlinetta, everyone was speechless. They had not known me long enough to know the real me. I had been driving an older sedan while looking for my replacement wheels. Finally, about all they could say was, "I guess still waters really do run deep." 

My Ford Explorer  With a Big V-8 & AWD
Fully loaded, leather interior
©2009 PK Hawk

I think the next cool vehicle I had was my 1999 Ford Explorer Limited, with a V-8, AWD, and all leather interior. I had it for about ten years or so, and traded it in on a Ford Ranger, which was somewhat of a step or two down, but I really needed a truck by then, and hauling so much animal feed, and hauling dog crates, etc. was really ruining my Explorer. Eventually, my son-in-law begged me to sell him my truck, as by then, I really no longer needed it, and I was considering getting another Explorer. So, he bought a second hand Explorer, which he did not really want, and we traded, straight across. 

"K9SAR4M"
K9s are Form 

Those Explorers are something else in the mountains, and curvy mountain roads. They aren't too shabby in sand and mud, either. To my way of thinking, many people who have rolled their Explorer, had to be driving faster than they should have in corners, or on curves.  These vehicles are somewhat top heavy, as they do sit higher on the frame than a regular does.  Common sense tells you when you need to slow down somewhat.  


When I finally sold my home, I also sold my last Explorer to some friends, who wanted it for their grandson. I had not yet decided what I was going to replace it with, so I was shopping around. That is, until I rode with a friend who has a Scion xB. At first, when I saw her driving that thing, I thought she must have lost her mind. This woman, I have known for nearly thirty years, and she has never even owned a "car" on all those years. She is a truck person, having Dodge Rams, and Ford F-250's for hauling her horse trailer, etc. Now, she was driving this ugly square box of a car. Once I rode in it on the freeway, in heavy traffic, and seeing the take-off it was demonstrating, I was now interested in checking one out for myself. So, she and I went car shopping. We visited all the car dealers within about 15 or 20 miles from home, and not one had a Scion xB on their lot. I did try a Scion sedan, which was really what I wanted, but since it was a Toyota dealer, and he was trying so hard to find what I wanted, I agreed to try the Scion sedan... I think many people would have liked it, but to me, I was disappointed. He did have some xB's on the lot, but they were brand new ones, and were the most awful, disgusting blue, that I would not even be seen in one. I think they were trying to capture the younger buyers with something a little more stand outish, and something they could add to and personalize, maybe adding flames, or stripes, or something. But that certainly was NOT ME, by any stretch of the imagination.

My Scion xB

The following day, we headed out a little farther north, to another Toyota Dealer in Corona, CA. The salesman said they didn't have what I was looking for, and offered to show me what was on the lot, which I politely declined. Then, as we were about to leave for greener pastures, he remembered one that had come in a day or two before. It was still being prepared for resale, and was still in the shop. I agreed to take a look, and as things turned out, it was a carbon copy of the one my friend owned, all expect for the spoiler it had on the rear, that is. I drove it maybe a block or two, and knew that was exactly what I was looking for. Plenty of take-off, twice the gas mileage as my Explorer, and being a Toyota build car, the engine would last until I was probably long dead and gone.

Black Scion xB

If you have never driven one of these little gems, you don't know what you're missing. If you need to pass anything, even if you are entering a freeway on an incline, this little joy will take off in a snap, and leave your intruding interloper in the dust. Did I tell you that my friend's son, who is at least 6'2" easily fits into the front as well as the back seat, along with a friend or two the same size as he? Well he does, and so do they. 


This is one car though, that you really can't bargain over with dealers, as they can hardly keep them on the lot. Mine was a Toyota Certified Used Car, so it actually has a better warranty than if I were to buy a new one. The warranty is good until the odometer hits 100,000 miles or until 2014, whichever comes first. 


Me, cars and trucks, and horses, all go together like a hand in a glove. 

This is almost identical to my last horse
Her name was "DUSTY"

Fast, powerful horses, and strong, powerful vehicles, get my blood pumping.  Just thinking about all the great ride Dusty and I went on over seventeen years, warms my heart, and makes me dream of days gone by.  I really look forward to the day when God's promise of an earth cleansed of crime, sickness, and disabilities is only a long forgotten memory.  If I am one of the approved ones who get to live there, I will be riding again.  Only then, I will be riding not only horses, but elephants, lions, and maybe even on the back of a whale.  Isaiah 11:6-9...  Jehovah God has promised, and it is impossible for God to lie. (Hebrews 6:18)

A Day Among Friends - LoL

Brunch Between Friends

Where shall I begin? What started out to be an uneventful and relaxing day, turned into one unplanned thing after another, and another, and another. 

A friend had the day off of work today, due to the Monday after Holiday, day off. So, we decided to have brunch at my favorite Chinese place, which I have told of so often, that I won't mention the name again today. 

I was low on gas, so I planned to stop on the way to pick her up, as she lived very near the gas station where I planned to buy gas. When I got to the station, it was closed. It seems they had taken off a few days for a little vacation. I guess they didn't have anyone they felt they could depend on to take care of things while they were gone, so they simply closed the station. I went a few blocks down the road to the next station, and the line was out onto the road. I was concerned about running out of gas just waiting in line. 

I called my friend, and she said, "Why don't you just come over here, park your car, and we can take mine. Then, when we eat, and stop at Walmart for a few things, and head back. By then, it will be midday, and the lines at the gas station should be cleared. Hey, that sounded pretty good to me, and we were really hungry, so that's what we did. Well, it started out that way anyway... 

I parked in her driveway, and we hopped into her vehicle, and headed off merrily down the road to the Chinese all you can eat buffet. We had each finished one plate and added just a bit more to the second dish, when her cell phone rang. Uh oh... 

Another friend of ours called to say that she thought she was having an attack of kidney stones, and was in really bad pain, and needed to go the ER, and she was unable to drive in so much pain. She is also a diabetic, and that also is a factor in any health problems she has. So, we quickly finished what was on our plates, and left in a hurry to help our friend. 

Check in here.  Wait there please.
Come in here and have this test.  Go there and wait again.
Your insurance information please.
Don't eat or drink anything, as you may need surgery.
Please wait there again.  See the doctor now.
You are dehydrated.  You need to drink more water.
Go home, take these pills.

When we arrived at the ER, we were told to please stand behind the line where some sign was posted, to wait our turn at the check in, (a privacy thing they do nowadays). Our sick friend was in so much pain that she really couldn't stand up for more than just a few minutes, so I asked if there was someplace where she could sit. They were kind enough to get her a wheelchair, which was certainly a welcome relief for her. Once we got her signed into the initial sign in place, we were told to wait in the next area, for her to be called to see the triage nurse. By then, it was 1:05 PM. 

She was eventually called back to the front sign in desk to see the triage nurse for BP and temperature check. She was then sent back again to the waiting room to wait to be called into another room to see a doctor. 

Then, they did a CAT scan, and some X-rays to check for stones. No stones. She was really getting hungry, and thirsty, but had been told not to eat or drink anything, in case they decided she needed surgery. Whew...

Eventually, she was seen by a PA (Physician's Assistant). She was then told she had a kidney infection and was dehydrated. Of course she was dehydrated, she had been told not to drink anything, or to eat. Hey, this woman is a diabetic. She has to have food on time, as well as plenty of water to drink. She was given a couple of prescriptions, one an antibiotic, and the other one for pain control so she would be able to get some relief and be able to sleep. By now, we all three are dying from thirst, as well as hunger.  We were at the hospital for about 4 1/2 to 5 hours, all without food or water. So, here we were, three older ladies, all over 65 years of age, and two with some pain issues, not to mention hunger and thirst.

Our sick friend wanted to stop by Carl's Junior and get a turkey burger for each of us, and some water to drink, as none of us drink sodas, and by now, no one really wanted any coffee, either. 

I know, it's way too late to make a long story short. I really tried you know. 

Anyway, we then stopped by CVS to drop off her prescriptions, then took her home so she could at last get some rest and off her feet. Since the prescriptions would not be ready for about half an hour, we headed over to Walmart so my friend could get ink for her printer, and a couple other things for another friend who is also in a lot of pain, as she has a neck injury just like the one I had twenty years ago. She is having surgery on Friday the 6th.

After finishing at Walmart, and such a long day, my neck began having pain and spasms and my head began to throb. I was heading downhill, but fast, too. I suddenly remembered that I had discovered that if I took some generic Excedrine migraine tablets, along with some Pepsi, I could well stop much serious pain and discomfort. So, off I went looking for those things, so I didn't become another casualty of the day. 

We then went to CVS, picked up the prescriptions for our kidney infected friend, took that to her, and headed off to the second friend's home with her medication for pain. Then, we went to get my car at the home of the friend with whom I had brunch.

Unfortunately, in our hurry to get brunch, I apparently forgot to turn off my headlights. Yes, my car's battery was a dead as a doornail. She insisted on calling AAA for me. It was certainly easier than calling my insurance and waiting for them to call someone out. So, we sat talking and waited for only about twenty minutes for the young man from AAA showed up to give my poor little Scion xB a jump. My wheels started up as it should have done. I headed to the gas station where the lines existed this morning, only to find another two lines of cars waiting to gas up for work tomorrow. I decided I probably had enough gas to drive another five or six miles to the Mobil station where I like to buy gas. That would charge the battery a bit more, so that when I shut off the engine, I would have a better chance of it starting again, with a somewhat better charge. 

Once gas was in my vehicle, and the battery charged, I got onto the freeway for a few miles in order to give it a little better chance of charging my battery better, as I probably won't be going much of anyplace tomorrow with my neck now giving me trouble.

Anyway, that's my day today, after just heading out to a nice early brunch.